The Invisible Load No One Sees

How I’m reducing stress & learning to regulate my emotions

If you’re a mom, you already know about the invisible load… the one no one else sees but you feel in your bones every single day.

It’s the mental checklist running nonstop in the back of your mind:
Snacks packed? Did I switch the laundry? Why is the dog limping? Who’s out of socks? Don’t forget to RSVP. Add yogurt to the grocery list. Oh, and be patient, be present, be calm…

It’s the weight of everyone else’s needs stacking on top of your own, until suddenly you realize… you haven’t taken a full breath all day.

For a long time, I thought stress was just “part of the job” and emotional overwhelm was normal. I told myself to just push through, but pushing didn’t make me stronger. It made me exhausted, anxious, reactive, and stuck in a cycle I hated.

The truth?
I wasn’t okay.
And that invisible load was crushing me.

What Finally Changed

One night, after snapping at my kids again, I sat on the edge of my bed and realized something had to shift. Not in a “burn everything down and start over” way… but in a small, steady “I can’t keep white-knuckling my life” way.

So I started making changes: simple, doable shifts that began rewiring how I show up, how I think, and how I care for myself.

Here’s what has truly helped lower my stress and regulate my emotions:


1. I Slowed My Mornings Down

No more waking up in chaos.
Now I start with coffee, quiet, and intention.
A few pages of prayer or Scripture.
Coffee + breathing.
Just being before I rush into doing.

That alone shifted the tone of my whole day.


2. I Nourish My Body (So My Brain Can Function)

This one surprised me.

I learned that stress is harder to manage when your nervous system is running on fumes.
That’s when I started supporting my body with calm-supporting tools:
✔️ Collagen + CBG in my morning drink
✔️ Daily cannabinoids for emotional balance
✔️ Functional mushrooms for focus + resilience
✔️ Enough water + electrolytes so my system isn’t running dry

The difference in my mood and patience was almost immediate.
A nourished body produces a calmer, more regulated mind.


3. I Pay Attention to My Triggers Instead of Hiding From Them

Instead of stuffing emotions down, I started noticing them.

When I feel my chest tighten or my fuse shortening, I pause.
I breathe.
I ask: What’s really going on? What do I need right now?

It sounds simple, but this one practice has saved me from so many emotional spirals.


4. I Stopped Carrying It All Alone

I’m learning to ask for help.
I’m delegating.
I’m telling my family what I need instead of assuming they should already know.

And most shockingly?
They actually want to help.
I just needed to let them.


5. I Built Tiny Moments of Comfort Into My Day

I used to think self-care meant spa days.
Nope.
Self-care is the small things that tell your nervous system, you’re safe.

A walk outside.
Ten minutes with my LumeBox.
Sitting in the car before going inside.
Saying “no” without apologizing.

Little things add up to big emotional shifts.


I’m Not Perfect Now, But I’m Present

The invisible load hasn’t disappeared.
But now? It doesn’t crush me.

I’m more regulated, more patient, more aware, and more anchored in who I want to be.

If you’re carrying more than anyone knows, please hear me:
You don’t have to stay overwhelmed.
Small steps can change everything.
And you’re allowed to take them.

You deserve to breathe again.
You deserve to feel like you again.

And if you ever need support, tools, or a starting point, I’m right here.

Routines, Goals, Visualization

Since the start of the new year, I’ve been reflecting a lot and making major changes in my mindset. I’ve been implementing new routines, setting some big, scary goals, and starting to put my faith in the law of attraction and the power of visualization.

I was challenged recently to think about my biggest motivating factors for why I do what I do and while there are a lot of reasons, there were two that stood out to me the most.

One of my top motivating factors for getting up each day and putting in as much work as I can is really finances in general but more specifically being able to either homeschool my daughter or put her in a Montessori school. I have loved every minute of my role as stay at home mom since my daughter was born in November 2018, but sometimes I think about how I’m not using my English/Teaching degree. Homeschooling Adeline would combine two of my passions: being home with my child and teaching.

Another motivating factor is educating women (but more specifically even, moms) about safe products and how to live healthier lives. Finding toxin free makeup completely changed mine and my fiancé’s lives, opened our eyes to all the harmful ingredients in everyday products, and has put us in the direction we want to go for raising Adeline and I want that for other women and other moms so badly!

So, what are some of my big, scary goals? What is my new 5 step morning routine that takes less than 2 minutes and sets the scene for a day of success? What is this visualization and law of attraction I mentioned? Jump on over to my clean living community on Facebook where I’ll be sharing these things live very soon!

https://www.facebook.com/groups/raisingclean/